


Half a heart without you

by Asterinblackbeek



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Manorian, Sisterly Love, chaorene - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asterinblackbeek/pseuds/Asterinblackbeek
Summary: Yrene is having some mood swings because of pregnancy. She is left alone by Chaol because he had to be in the castle with Dorian. Now she is alone and mad at her husband.
Relationships: Chaol Westfall/Yrene, Manon Blackbeak/Dorian Havilliard
Kudos: 15





	Half a heart without you

It was a sunny day. Like yesterday. Or the day before yesterday. It was boring. I'm here lying on my bed, as usual.  
Everyday is sunny and everyday I lie here while Anne, my servant, comes after every half an hour to ask if I need anything. I'm forced to eat, rest and do absolutely nothing. I mean, I know I have to take precautions as it's my 7th month, and the pain that I endured lately was not normal. But I am a healer and I know how to take care of myself. Still, my overprotective husband has set a schedule for me which I'm not pleased with.

Nobody is home tonight, save for Anne, who is doing her job of irritating me after every half an hour. Everyone, even my husband, is in the castle right now for some celebration. I don't exactly know for what. When Chaol had mentioned the celebration last week, the first thing he had said was that I wasn't going anywhere. So I didn't pay much attention when he said the rest. I mean there was no point, was there? 

"Do you need anything? Are you comfortable? May I change your bed sheet before you go to sleep?"

I don't have to look up from my book to know who it is. "No. Yes. No." Three answers to her three questions.

"Do you need any help with the washroom?" Anne asks from the door with a sweet smile on her face, that has started to irritate me.

"No, get out. I don't need anything and don't come back," I shout and throw a pillow towards her. She closes the door before the pillow could reach her.

God! I shouted at her. I can't believe myself. I don't usually shout but I can't help it. I'm irritated. This book I'm reading has started to irritate me, that sarvant and her sweet smile is irritating me, these sunny days are irritating me, the fact that my husband has left me for some party is irritating me. Left me with a sarvant.  
Oh God! I think I'm losing my mind.  
I close this pointless book and try to sleep.

After tossing and turning for some time, I decided that it was of no avail.  
I have an idea. A very stupid idea. What if I go to the castle and surprise everyone. More like shock everyone. That sounds fun. And new. I'm bored of doing the same thing again and again. I'll do something new tonight. 

Getting up from my bed, I lean against the window, my right hand on my swallen belly. The castle is not far from here. It's just 15 minutes walk and I'll be there. That's what I'm going to do tonight.  
I change from my simple white nightgown to a purple party gown, the only one that fits me with this swallen belly. Looking at myself in the mirror with this belly still shocks me.

"Soon you'll be out and my belly will be flat again," I say looking at my belly.

"Going somewhere?" Anne askes, as she walks in the room.

Oh god! Not again. "I think I told you not to come back," I say glaring at her. 

She is still smiling. But it's not her usual pretty smile. It's an apologetic smile, as if she's trying to say 'you are not going anywhere.'

"Look," I say, trying to stay calm. "I can't sleep and I want to go to the castle, to my husband."

" Sorry mam, but your husband has given me strict orders not to let you out of this house. I mean, I am not even allowed to let you out of this room tonight," she replies still wearing that smile. 

And guess what? I'm irritated. Again.

"Okay," I say, trying to hold back my anger, "I won't go anywhere." A Lie.

"Please mam, change back to your night gown and go to sleep," she says. 

She knows that I am lying. Knows that I am still planning to go. It is hard, so hard, to hold back these tears. I'm sure if I look into the mirror right now, my eyes will be burning with anger.

I'm not in a mood of any argument here. So I think I'll change back and try to sleep.

"See, I changed. Now you can go," I say, coming out of the washroom, changed back to my night gown.

"I.....I am ordered to.....I." 

Why is it taking her so long? "Just sat it." That comes out louder than I expected.

"Your husband has ordered me to stay with you the whole night," she says.

Well, here it was. Has Chaol gone mad. What does he think of me? Am I a child to be pampered? This is just too much.  
"Okay, do what you have been ordered to do," I say calmly, preserving anger for my dear husband.

I walk to my bed, my throat still burning. I want to cry. I don't know why l but I want to. Now I can't. Not with an audience.

"Not on that couch," I shout, as Anne sits on the golden couch.

She is on her feets now. Shocked, I guess. "Wha....why." she says, confused.

"Sleep anywhere but there," I say and cover myself in a blanket.

I'm crying. My whole body is crying. I don't know where Anne is sleeping and I don't care.

I'm tired now and I want to sleep. Sleep in Chaol's arms, want him to say some soothing word. I want him here. I'm still crying when sleep takes me over.

I wake up at dawn. Sun rays brightening the room. God! Another sunny day. I try to sit but I'm too tired. I think I'll just close my eyes for some more time. 

Someone is in the room. I can feel it. Anne? No, it's not her. I peer through my eyes and see the silhouette of a man near bookshelf. I close my eyes again. Chaol. Who else could he be. I'm still angry at him, and for now I don't wanna talk to him. I'll unleash all my anger at him later.

"Not a single good book here. What does Chaol have with reading?" the voice, which is not Chaol's, says.

He is not Chaol. A man is in my room, and he's not Chaol.

I wake up suddenly only to find Dorian in my room.

"Hey sister, you're up," he says and sits besides me on my bed.

"Yeah, but what are you doing here? And where is Chaol?" I question, suprise and anger clearly visible on my face.

"Aaah! I think you didn't like my surprise visit," he says with a bright smile.

I sigh and then say, "It's not like that. I'm just....I don't know. There was a celebration in the castle and I wasn't even invited. I was alone all night and...." I can't continue. I want to cry.

"I think you already have cried enough," he says, looking in my eyes. He places his hand on mine and gives it a gentle squeeze. He is not smiling now. He has something to say. Of course he has. That's why he's here.

"Is Chaol alright?" I ask. Now I'm scared. He has to be alright, otherwise Dorian won't be here, smiling. He is smiling again, reading my face, and I think I can relax now.

"He is alright, isn't he? But that doesn't change anything," I say as I free my hand from his and places it on my belly.

"Doesn't change what?" he asks.

"Me being angry with both of you."

"But why are you angry with me," he says.

"Huh! Didn't I just told you why? You didn't invite me," I say and close my eyes.

"Why won't I invite you? Besides you don't need an invitation to come. I don't call you sister just because it sounds good. I call you sister because you are my sister. And sisters don't need invitation." he says but I don't open my eyes. 

I am feeling a bit good now and I think I'm smiling as well.

"So, that means Chaol decided, by himself, that I'm not invited," I say. He takes my hand again and places a gentle kiss on it.

"He's not alright Yrene. He's not alright," I open my eyes on this.

"What do you mean? Where is he?" I ask, confused and worried.

"He is worried about you. He..."

"I know. I know," I cut him off. "I know he is worried about me but that doesn't mean he can house arrest me. And if he is so worried, where is he now?" I'm still angry at him and he's nowhere to be seen.

"God! Yrene. Calm down. I forced Chaol to come and stay in the castle for celebration. But I didn't knew he was not bringing you along. He didn't enjoyed a single second. He was thinking about you all the time and when Manon asked him where you were..." 

"Manon is here? Why?" I ask.

"Well, what has Chaol told you about celebration?" he asks but I don't know what to say.

"Something. I didn't listened because I thought I wasn't invited," I say.

"Well, Manon accepted my marriage proposal,"he says, smiling brightly.

I don't know how to react at this. I mean I was waiting for this from a long time, and now with all these mixed feelings in me, I am not able to find proper words, so I just hug him.

"I'm so happy for you." He hugs me back and then after few moments of embrace, we pulled apart.

"Let's talk about Chaol now. Okay?" he says, and wipes a tear from my cheek. I don't know when I have started crying but I'm crying now.

"Okay. What did he say to her?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

"That you are at home, resting. And then..... Well you remember that pain you endured lately?"

"Yes. How can I forget. That's why Chaol is behaving so strange," I say.

"Do you know how much you cried that day. Whole day you were screaming and crying. But do you know who else was crying that day?" 

"Chaol was crying," I say without realising it.

"More than you. He can't see you like that. And he's doing his best that he won't have to again. He's so much invested in taking care of you that he is not taking care of himself. He's sleep deprived. I don't think he is eating enough. He's just so much concerned about you. About how you are behaving. He is trying his best not to let you feel anything odd about yourself and he's overdoing it." 

"What do you mean about my behavior? What is wrong with it."

He places a kiss on my hand and says,  
"Nothing bad. It's just when Hafiza came to check on you that day, she said the pain was because of hormonal disturbance. She gave you a tonic for it. But....."

"But it effected my behavior." Oh God! That's why I get irritated and angry about everything. That is the reason I want to cry all the time. And oh God! How many times I've shouted at Chaol for no reason. I feel terrible and angry. Angry at myself. How couldn't I realise it? I have given that tonic to my patients so many times and I know the side effects very well but still I couldn't realise it.

"Hey don't cry. It's ok." He says as I start crying again. "I just wanted to tell you this because I can't Chaol like that. And I know he would never tell you this by himself. I hope you understand."

I nod. "Of course, I understand," I say as more tears leak my eyes.

"What's going on here." I look up at the source of these words and see Chaol running toward me. He sits on the other side of the bed and pulls me close.

My head rests on his chest and he wraps me in his arms.

"I think I should take a leave," Dorian says and leaves us alone.

"Are you alright?" I ask him and he pulls apart, just enough to cup my face in his hands.

"Why are you crying? Did Dorian said something?" he asks.

"Yes, he did. He did say something you should have,"I say freeing myself from him.

"What?" he asks.

"About my behavior. About that tonic. Chaol, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about my behavior. I know I've been shouting at you unnecessarily and...."

"You don't have to be sorry, Yrene. It's not your fault. It's me who should be sorry. I'm sorry for not taking care of you properly. I'm sorry that I left you alone. I'm...." He stops and stares into my eyes. "I'm sorry that you had to cry." 

"Shhhhh. I don't want to start a sorry session here. And you, you have nothing to be sorry for. You are perfect, perfect in every possible way. Beside I was crying because of these sunny days. They kinda started to irritate me," I say and he smiles.

Oh God! I wouldn't I do to see him smile. He's so perfect and I was angry on him and now I don't even know why.

"I love you.l," he says. 

I can feel his breath on my lips and now his lips are touching mine.

I pull apart a little just to see his face.

"I love your too Chaol Westfall," I say and kiss him again. 

His hands are on my neck and mine on his chest.

We pull apart after sometime. "It won't happen again. I'll try to control myself," I say, staring into his bronze eyes. 

"It's okay. You can shout at me anytime you want. I won't mind," he says.

I rest my head on his chest and he gently strokes my hair.

"I don't want to shout. Not on you, not on anyone. Dorian said you are not alright. That you are not taking care of yourself. And I know that's because of me. I'm sorry," I say. I close my eyes and now I'm feeling better. Normal.

"Dorian, huh? I'll see him tomorrow. Besides, I thought you don't want to start a sorry session here," he says and places a kiss on my forehead.

"Okay, I won't. I love you." 

He lets out a brief laugh. 

"What?" I ask.

"I think it has started to rain," he says and tugs me closer to him.

I smile. "I love you," I say, again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Like a kudos and comment if you want.


End file.
